3–4 minutesWhat’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?
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If I could answer one question about what I wish I had started doing earlier in life, it would be this: I wish I had stopped listening to the person who called herself my mother, stopped allowing my childhood to be stifled, and started trusting my own intuition much sooner. Doing so has ultimately led me to a far happier and more authentic existence.
Looking back, there are several key steps I wish I had taken earlier.
Traveling and Reconnecting with My Roots
I wish I had begun traveling to discover my ancestors much sooner. A group of my ancestors and family hail from the old world — back when it was spelled Toscani, known today as Tuscany. I have always carried a free, wandering soul that much of my American family simply could not understand.
Tuscany represents everything I love: simple pleasures, wonderful food, vibrant community, true family, and pure authenticity. Leaving when I did allowed me to connect with nature more deeply, as well as love and be loved openly — without the unhealthy dynamics, boundary violations, and projections that constrained my past.
Sun on old stone. Rosemary in the wind. A table set for people who actually see you. Some places don’t just welcome you — they remember you, even the first time you arrive.
Building a Healthier Environment
I wish I had removed myself from toxic environments long ago, left the country sooner, and allowed my definition of family and humanity to evolve. Recognizing the narcissistic patterns in my upbringing and walking away earlier would have saved years of unnecessary pain.
There’s a particular kind of grief in realizing that the environment you were raised in wasn’t the standard for how love and family are supposed to feel — it was simply the only version you knew. Unlearning that takes time. Walking away from it takes courage. But building a life around people and places that actually nourish you? That’s where the healing begins.
Recognizing the patterns in my upbringing and walking away earlier would have saved years of unnecessary pain.
Fully Embracing the Arts
I wish I had dedicated myself completely to creative expression from the very beginning — creating and writing music, drawing, singing, dancing, watercolor painting, and comedic entertainment. Every one of those forms was a language I already spoke fluently as a child, long before anyone told me which parts of myself were acceptable to keep.
Creativity was never the indulgent detour I was made to believe it was. It was the most direct route back to myself.
A Small Note, If You Recognize Yourself Here
If any of this resonates — if you’ve spent years shrinking parts of yourself to fit an environment that was never built to hold the whole of you — please know it’s not too late. The intuition you were taught to distrust is still in there. It’s patient. It waits for you to come back to it.
Tuscany is simple and beautiful to me. Stepping into my truth and intuition has made all the difference — not because leaving fixed everything, but because it finally gave me room to find out who I was underneath everything I’d been taught to be.
I can’t go back and start any of this sooner. None of us can. But I can tell you, gently, from the other side of it: if some quiet part of you already knows what needs to change, that’s not something to talk yourself out of. That’s your intuition, right on time.
Trust it. Even if it takes you somewhere no one in your old life expected. Especially then.
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